I remember leaving the office with the sheet of paper diagnosing my Mom, showing her husband, and him just being in shock this was not curable disease.  He could not handle this.  His way of dealing with the stress was to work late, hit the bar, come home and put my Mom to bed, and then leave her again when she fell asleep.  I found out he had a girlfriend much later, it took me awhile to realize he did not care anymore.  It was hard to see someone change for the worst like he did.

My Mom hated being home alone at this point, if left home alone she would leave and wander (usually to my house).  She also liked the hospital, I think because she felt safe.  When she would wake up in the middle of the night she would walk across the park and go to the Firestation, and tell them she needed an ambulance and be admitted to the hospital.

I was pregnant with my second child at this point, and it became my job to find something to do with my Mom during the day as she couldn’t work any longer and I had to.  I set her up in a senior daycare, which she hated.  She would stay until about 5, I would pick her up, she would eat dinner with us, and then the husband was supposed to come pick her up after work.  He would supposedly work until 8pm, which we knew was untrue and he would reek of alcohol picking her up.  He was very agitated and annoyed he had to take care of her.

My husband started to get angrier and angrier with him, and finally exploded and yelled at him one night.  The next day i went to pick up clothes for my Mom and he screamed at me.  I realized then it was not safe for my Mom to be left alone with him.  His violent temper had escalated dramatically.

So my Mom moved in with us.  A family friend would watch her during the day for $5/hour and bring her home at 5pm.  My Mom would demand dinner be ready right at that time, and if it wasn’t she would pace and stand over me repeating this until she had her food.  She wanted instant gratification with everything at this point.  She also would change anywhere in our house, not realizing this was inappropriate.  She would leave the door open when using the washroom, the toilet unflushed, her dental items would be a mess, all over the counter.  She also became an insomniac and would wake me up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning.

I had my daughter in October of 2006 and after she came, I became worried as my Mom was erratic and kept wanting to hold her but I was afraid she would drop her as she was so anxious and jumpy all the time.  I was tired, and my Mom’s demands on me when she was home became too much quickly.

I had to make the hard decision on where to place her.

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