I remember leaving the office with the sheet of paper diagnosing my Mom, showing her husband, and him just being in shock this was not curable disease. He could not handle this. His way of dealing with the stress was to work late, hit the bar, come home and put my Mom to bed, and then leave her again when she fell asleep. I found out he had a girlfriend much later, it took me awhile to realize he did not care anymore. It was hard to see someone change for the worst like he did.
My Mom hated being home alone at this point, if left home alone she would leave and wander (usually to my house). She also liked the hospital, I think because she felt safe. When she would wake up in the middle of the night she would walk across the park and go to the Firestation, and tell them she needed an ambulance and be admitted to the hospital.
I was pregnant with my second child at this point, and it became my job to find something to do with my Mom during the day as she couldn’t work any longer and I had to. I set her up in a senior daycare, which she hated. She would stay until about 5, I would pick her up, she would eat dinner with us, and then the husband was supposed to come pick her up after work. He would supposedly work until 8pm, which we knew was untrue and he would reek of alcohol picking her up. He was very agitated and annoyed he had to take care of her.
My husband started to get angrier and angrier with him, and finally exploded and yelled at him one night. The next day i went to pick up clothes for my Mom and he screamed at me. I realized then it was not safe for my Mom to be left alone with him. His violent temper had escalated dramatically.
So my Mom moved in with us. A family friend would watch her during the day for $5/hour and bring her home at 5pm. My Mom would demand dinner be ready right at that time, and if it wasn’t she would pace and stand over me repeating this until she had her food. She wanted instant gratification with everything at this point. She also would change anywhere in our house, not realizing this was inappropriate. She would leave the door open when using the washroom, the toilet unflushed, her dental items would be a mess, all over the counter. She also became an insomniac and would wake me up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning.
I had my daughter in October of 2006 and after she came, I became worried as my Mom was erratic and kept wanting to hold her but I was afraid she would drop her as she was so anxious and jumpy all the time. I was tired, and my Mom’s demands on me when she was home became too much quickly.
I had to make the hard decision on where to place her.
11 comments
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August 30, 2010 at 4:43 am
KEVIN M.
Hi..thank you for your post. My mother (72 y/o) has just been diagnosed with Pick’s Disease. Looks like I have several years of tears ahead.
August 30, 2010 at 1:53 pm
melissachi
Kevin, i am sorry to hear about your mom. please if you have any questions feel free to contact me, my goal with this site is to help others in same situation.
-Melissa
November 27, 2010 at 6:59 am
Amy
When exactly was your mom diagnosed, melissa,and at what stage is she now,my mother was diagnosed about 6-9 months ago and seems to be progressing quite rapidly at least to me,would love to talk more with you about this
December 8, 2010 at 3:49 am
melissachi
My Mom was diagnosed back in the summer of 2006. It has been 4 years. I am not sure what “stage” as she has had different doctors and most don’t understand the disease well.
December 13, 2010 at 4:23 am
Heather
Dear Melissa:
I just found your site. My mom, who turned 70 in August, was recently diagnosed with Pick’s disease. It sounds like there is a long road ahead of us. I am glad I found your site.
September 27, 2011 at 11:42 am
Jim Morris
Melissa:
My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimers 2 years ago although we were seeing symptoms for several years prior to that. About 6 months ago after non Alzheimers symptoms began to appear, the diagnosis was changed to Picks. The disease has begun to progress quickly in the past few months as we try to change and regulate medicines to fit the disease. Much anger, drepression, and confusion make it very difficult to handle. The fact that she can no longer verbally say what she wants greatly adds to the problem and when I don’t understand what she is trying to communicate, her anger turns into rage. I don’t want to institutionalize her if I can help it but it doesn’t look promising.
Jim
December 17, 2012 at 8:31 pm
Belva Rogers
I have a best friend with Pick’s. One of the symptoms she has is wearing black clothes all the time. Its only been a year since her diagnoses and some are just starting to accept it. Any one else have the clothes issue?
December 18, 2012 at 5:49 pm
melissachi
Hi, wearing the same colors or same clothes in general is common yes. my mom used to wear a hat everyday, which she never did previously.
February 8, 2013 at 2:34 am
melissachi
Hi Belva, sorry for the late response. this is very normal, repetition is a sign of the disease.
May 25, 2013 at 3:18 am
Tracey
My heart goes out to you. I am in the similar situation. My mom was diagnosed with picks disease about two years ago. That was after a few years of things just not being right. She was diagnosed late. Not sure how late but in two year we are at the point where she can not talk, along with other things. My mother is not in a nursing home yet, my aunt (her sister) lives with my parents and is doing everything in her power to keep her out of a nursing home because my father is ready.
I see the path your mother is taking and fear the long road ahead of us. It is so hard for me to feel like i have lost my mom but still have her right in front of me. Seeing her miss out on knowing her grandchildren kills me beyond belief.
Thank you for posting your experience and feelings. I would love to email with you.
May 25, 2013 at 10:16 am
ebostick1212
Thank you for writing this. FTD caused my family to crumble, too. My mom got diagnosed right after my parent’s terrible divorce, my aunts hate me because I’m not taking full time care of my mom, as I live in Spain, (I’m only 25 and can barely take care of myself) and our entire family unit has just completely been destroyed. This disease has taken my mom away, but also my family.