I mentioned I am in a Lenten Church Group that is going to a nursing home to deliver gifts and they have a musical guest coming to entertain.  Ironically the place they chose was a place my Mom used to reside at and they felt it was a “place in need”.  I did not really want to do this as it is awkward but I didn’t want my feelings to dictate the groups decisions.  We were packing bags tonight with gifts and talking about the visit Saturday when one guy realized where we were going.  He had confused it with another place close by.  He said something like “o that place is a hellhole, I will start praying right now those people need it” and it cut like a knife through me.  I walked out and went outside and was pretty upset.  I know people don’t realize how hard it is to make decisions for a parent who has dementia that you cannot care for but trust me I feel guilty enough without others chiming in.  So please, if you know someone trying to care for a disabled person, watch what you say – words hurt.

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